i answer random questions from an asmr video

[yestoday]

I've decided to test the limits of procrastination, so here are my responses to Chris asking me random questions.

#1
Q. Would you make a good cult leader? And why would you make a good cult leader?
A. I would absolutely not make a good cult leader. I have a leadership skills rating into the negatives; my followers would lose faith in me and my cause immediately due to my inability to sound convincing.

#2 
Q. What is your second favorite color?
A. See, I typically say I have two favorite colors: black and deep blue (like, navy but more saturated; sapphire, perhaps?). Does that mean one of these two will count as my second favorite? If so, I would choose the dark blue as my second favorite. If not, then a deep shade of purple. 

#3 
Q. What is the first thing you think of that is an earthy red?
A. Minecraft acacia wood.

#4 
Q. Would you say that you're more intense or carefree?
A. Carefree… but in more of a way caused by cynicism.

#5 
Q. Which celebrity or band do you think has the worst fanbase?
A. Oh, man. You really don't want to get me started. For the sake of brevity and to prevent me from unrolling an acre long list with explanations and evidence, I will select just one to say: X1.

#6
Q. What are you interested in, that most people aren't?
A. UP10TION. Just kidding, let's say… Fallen London? It's not even an unpopular game, according to the statistics I've seen, but it is super niche under my impression, as I've never encountered anyone in the wild who knows of it.

#7
Q. What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement?
A. Imagine if you could project holograms from your phone or tablet like in those sci-fi movies. Like, you swipe up, and then you can watch YouTube videos projected into the air. Even cooler if the holograms were touchscreen—as in: there a sensor for when your hand moves in certain places in the air, so you can swipe and shit on the hologram. Sorry, I just think Tony Stark's workspace is cool.

#8
Q. Did you like the first, second, or third sound the most? And can you tell me why?
A. It's close between the first and second sound. The third one is definitely out; it's boring. I think the first one will have to take the crown. It's likely because I tend to like sharper, perhaps more aggressive, sounds more—for example: some of my favorite ASMR triggers are spraying, scissors, and scratching. That was unintentional alliteration.

#9
Q. Do you prefer: Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley?
A. I own and have played both. I never ended up reaching an impressive progress on either, though, so I have not experienced the gameplay to its fullest extent. I'm not sure why I wasn't able to keep playing; the motivation to continue just did not persist. Maybe these aren't the type of games for me! Anyway, from what I've played and know so far, however, I think I will choose Stardew Valley.

#10
Q. Do you prefer: Cool Ranch Doritos or a bowl of grapes?
A. Grapes! Especially if they're the green kind. I'm dehydrated all the time, so I prefer something juicier.

#11
Q. Do you prefer: Beetlejuice or West Side Story? 
A. I have not seen either, but after a quick Google search and skim over the synopses alone, West Side Story sounds more appealing to me.

#12
Q. Do you prefer: eighty degrees Fahrenheit or twenty degrees Fahrenheit?
A. God. Typically I prefer cold over hot, but twenty is taking it to a bit of the extreme… eighty degrees doesn't sound that bad when I remember I've experienced over a hundred degrees Fahrenheit weather before on a road trip in Wyoming. Eighty degrees, then.

#13
Q. Do you prefer: the antique store or the gun range?
A. I don't care much for either, but I'd rather go to the antique store, since it's that much more tranquil. I imagine the gun range is loud as hell, so that's an instant turn off. The gun range also sounds boring. I could shoot a couple of times, but then it'd just become repetitive, and wouldn't it get bland pretty fast? At least, at the antique store there would be intriguing things to look at and trinkets to play with.

#14
Q. Do you prefer: turquoise or magenta?
A. Turquoise. I know I said earlier that my second favorite color was purple, but magenta is not that type of purple.

#15
Q. [I'm not typing all that out, but here's the timestamp.]
A. Uh. The first one. 

#16
Q. What is your average screen time this week?
A. I unfortunately do not have my screen time tracking turned on, but my approximate estimate is that it's… embarrassing.

#17
Q. What is your most used app?
A. Like I said, I haven't had my screen time tracking turned on (I just now enabled it), but this has an easy answer: Twitter. 

#18
Q. How long did you spend on Twitter today?
A. Not as long as I would if my main account was activated right now, but it hasn't—I deactivated it a couple weeks ago for sanity reasons, and also to focus on my Dreamwidth (here) and to set up accounts across a multitude of media platforms for a soft, aesthetic alter ego of myself to accompany it (and all that went very successfully, by the way. I'm obsessed with my revamped Listography page, and I secured the skinniest usernames for pretty much everything). Sorry, that was not at all related to the question. Anyway, needless to say, I spend a very long time on Twitter every day.

#19
Q. Are you religious?
A. Nah. Whenever I have one of my 'moments,' I do feel convinced that I, myself, am a god, but not in a way that I want people to worship me. I just believe I'm actually immortal and insanely powerful, but that power wouldn't be used to influence anyone else, for good or bad. I will just be a quiet bystander throughout time; I will watch empires fall and family die without saying a thing. I will watch the inevitable: I will watch this planet collapse in on itself, the sun burn out, the cosmos shift to a deadly alignment from my front row view adrift in space. I will witness apocalypses; I will wait trillions of years for new life to sprout and another trillion for civilization to spring back up, and I'll insert myself back onto that new world and experience it all again—until the end of ends, until the last star flickers out and freezes over, until the final droplets of time trickles away and the watermill of spacetime continuum runs dry. So, no, I don't think that will count as a religion, since it is merely centered around myself.

#20
Q. Do you identify as atheist or agnostic?
A. Nope.

#21
Q. Do you have a routine before you go to bed?
A. I have a stretching routine; it used to be extremely elaborate and taxing during the period my eating disorder was most in control of my life. Now, I've improved—I've become less obsessive over set procedures. (I'm fucking fine.) Still, remnants of those remain, and I have arguably less intense stretching routines before sleeping, showering, and while brushing my teeth. (Yes, I have a minor stretching regimen while I brush my teeth… that is why I'm slightly worried about moving into my college dorms next semester, since the restrooms will likely be public, and I don't know how easy it'll be for me mentally to quit the routine, because I don't want to be seen doing it—it does look strange from an outsider's perspective.) I was going to walk you through my pre-sleeping stretching routine, but I just realized how difficult it is to explain this kind of stuff. I'll just leave it at this then.

#22
Q. What is your favorite video game right now?
A. This one is simple and obvious: Genshin Impact.

#23
Q. When was the last time you cried? And what was it about—what was the reason that you cried?
A. Let me think about this. It was either VIVIZ's first Queendom 2 performance or that day when there was a big ass wasp in my room, so I hid in my sister's room and cried for twenty minutes while I tried to get my mom take care of it. Like, I deadass bawled for twenty minutes on my sister's bed and got her sheets wet and everything. The first ten minutes, it was actually because I was terrified of the bee; the latter half was because I randomly began thinking about Ilhoon and how much I missed him, and my brain decided to have it all be one joint crying session. My mom and sister still think all twenty minutes were dedicated to the bee. So be it.

#24
Q. Do you watch ASMR?
A. Hell yeah. Your girlfriend's channel is my life essence, Marno. Would you like me to pull out my ASMRist ult list?

#25
Q. Have you ever stolen anything?
A. Probably, but I can't recall a particular instance or anecdote to go with it right now, so it probably wasn't anything important. I have one for my sister, though: we were at my twin cousins' grandparents' house (so, the ones not related to my bloodline) for a Christmas party. This was a long, long time ago, so my sister was probably around five or six years old and still had a penchant for sparkly pretty things. This particular couple's house was filled with decorations of such, and especially so during Christmas. When we got home, she pulled a faux poinsettia out of her coat pocket. I remember my mom giving her a gentle, yet stern, scolding about stealing things and how they likely would have let her take it if she just asked. 

#26
Q. How often do you get your hair cut?
A. In random intervals. It's usually whenever I have time, really. Now, I try to do it a bit more than before, since I want to keep it really short, and my hair is a relatively quick grower. I want to cut it myself—just a quick snip-snip at the tips for it to stay the length I want it to—but my mom freaks out and does not trust me with it. That is completely understandable and valid of her; if I had a clearer state of mind for longer portions of times, I would not trust myself to pick up those scissors either, much less have them anywhere near my hair. Anyway, this also brings up the hitch that, now that I've chopped a good chunk of the ends off, I need to get it bleached again. I always want at least a bit of fried hair somewhere—you know, for pizzazz; it can also be symbolic of my dead, flaky soul. I don't know.

#27
Q. Are you indecisive?
A. Too much so. 

#28
Q. How many keys do you have?
A. None; I don't own anything that has a lock.

#29
Q. Do you ever lay down in the shower?
A. No? One: my shower is one of those vertically tubular ones—there is not enough room to lay down. Two: that is disgusting—if you want to lay down, just use the bathtub. (Wait, unless it's one of those ones where both are the same thing? In that case, I still wouldn't.)

#30
Q. What was your first impression of me?
A. Okay, I found out about you because of Erin. I had petty beef with you for a long time, because you stole my chance with her. I'm joking! I think my first impression was that I liked your nails. I could tell from the get-go your videos are some undoubtedly high quality ASMR. I also thought you looked inexplicably British, somehow, so whenever you talk and I don't hear a British accent, I feel like I'm tripping. 

#31
Q. Think of anything that starts with the letter 'G', and then think of another thing with the letter 'G'; what is it?
A. Gmail. Sorry, that is so dumb. The first word was 'grape', though. I can't tell if that's even lamer, but it was because I remembered the question about having a bowl of grapes from earlier.

#32
Q. Who do you admire most? And what is it about them?
A. Seo Eunkwang. I can't wrap my head around how it's possible for a person be composed of this pristine of a blend of kindness and talent. 

#33
Q. Do you prefer people shoot it straight with you or temper their words?
A. Shoot it straight, please. 

#34
Q. What is your biggest fear?
A. Bugs and insects of any kind (including butterflies and ladybugs; I used to not be afraid of fireflies and worms, but now those petrify me too), and dropping something to somewhere where it's unretrievable—specifically: my phone falling into the sewers and things flying out the car window while on the highway. Any time I see a water drainage opening, I have horrifying visions of my phone falling in there, taking my beloved Ilhoon and Hyojin photocards with it. I try to walk as far away from them as possible. As for things flying out the car window, that is from personal experience, and even if it wasn't anything too important, the sensation of losing something in a flash like that is not a fun one. I hate it so much. It has also led to me envisioning my phone accidentally dropping out the car window, as well, on more than one occasion. I never open my car window beside my seat and clutch onto my phone for dear life when any of the other ones are open.

#35
Q. What is the first TV show from your childhood that comes to mind?
A. 开心宝贝, oh my fucking god. That show carried my life; I was so obsessed with it. I recently found most of the earlier seasons uploaded onto YouTube, and I vowed that when I have time, I'm going to binge the fuck out of those with my sister. It's a kids show, but I think it's the kind that's like My Little Pony where older people can enjoy it too. At least, I certainly am sure I will still enjoy it, even now that I'm older. I'm pretty sure the enjoyment won't only come from nostalgia either; it's legitimately so funny, and I still love the characters. I don't give a fuck! I will watch 开心宝贝! Maybe, one day, I'll even catch up on the newer seasons that weren't out yet when I was a child… I remember searching it up some time ago, and I faintly recall seeing that the show was still ongoing as of 2021? That's fucking fantastic. At least I know where to feast, if I ever become free enough.

#36
Q. Do you keep anything under your bed?
A. A small cardboard of all the envelopes and notes and letters I receive from my occasional hobby of trading K-Pop photocards and buying their albums. The box doesn't have a lid, though, so they all get dusty. I should get it a cover, at some point.

#37
Q. How's your relationship with your parents? 
A. I love them; they're great. My dad isn't home as much, since he works a lot, so I'm automatically closer with my mom, but I know they both love me and my sister. My mom is super sweet—even I, as an angsty, rebellious teen, have to admit it. I really feel bad they have to deal with a mentally ill child like me; thinking back, I gave them so many problems. A lot of the times, I honestly wish they cared about me less, so my own suffering wouldn't have to bring them so much pain as well—that's why I try so hard to mask my feelings: I don't want to hurt them again by letting them see how fucked up I am and for it to be indubitably my fault, because they didn't need to know about all this darkness. It's my own problem to deal with, and they shouldn't have to be dragged into it. I don't want to make them worry; they're too pure to witness my internal mess—I don't want to taint them again.

#38
Q. How often would you say that you talk to your parents? Would you prefer to talk to them less?
A. Every day, because I still live with them. I suppose it might be nice to talk to them a bit less, since keeping up an innocuous mask is quite exhausting. I'll have my wish come true when I move out for college, but of course I'll call them—at the very least—once a week in order to continually renew my façade. I bet I'll miss them anyway, so it'll work out for both sides.

#39
Q. If you could have a conversation with any character, who would it be?
A. Perhaps… Hu Tao? Perhaps Venti? Perhaps Yelan? Perhaps Wade Wilson? Perhaps… Song Jiwon from Age of Youth? I don't know, I haven't thought about this one. I don't have a comfort character, or anything. I'm not good at conversing, anyway, so I'm not sure what I would talk about to any of them; I picked rather talkative ones for most of them in hopes of them being able to carry the conversation. They're all interesting figures that I would kill to become the partner-in-crime of.

#40
Q. Where do you get your news?
A. Twitter. It's all on Twitter.

#41
Q. What problem are you currently grappling with?
A. Inspiration, maybe. 

#42
Q. What was cool when you were young but isn't now?
A. Furbies.

#43
Q. What food do you crave most often?
A. Almonds.

#44
Q. If tear gas makes you cry and laughing gas makes you giggle, what is a type of gas you wish existed?
A. Focus gas. Perhaps, one day, when I get prescribed Adderall…

#45
Q. What is the oldest thing that you own?
A. Um. An original print BTOB Press Play album? Or, oh, maybe my violin was manufactured earlier.

#46
Q. If magic was real, what would be the first spell that you learn?
A. Whatever Wanda Maximoff has going on. I'll start with the typical telekinesis and energy manipulation, yes sir. Once I get those down, I might look into the mind-fuckery she can do, but that's not the priority, as of now.

#47
Q. If you could hack into any computer, which one would it be?
A. Cube Entertainment headquarters and Woollim Entertainment headquarters. I know that's two of them, but this is important to me… I will have a fat, two terabyte flash drive ready in my hands, and I will download the fuck out of all the unreleased photos and videos they have on there. I will liberate the forbidden Ilhoon-containing 걍 하는 거야 clips, and I will uncover the lost INFINITE Top Seed era content, notably Tell Me dance practice video.

Yes, I typed out all those questions by hand. Yes, it took five and a half hours. Goodnight; this was actually so fun… so irredeemably time consuming, yet I feel this was time well-wasted.