yestoday

Sexiness isn't just a look, it's a presence, and these so-called sexy concepts groups are just not getting it down. While, sure, I can find the members objectively attractive or they can have a specific moment or two on stage where they look especially good, most of the time I simply cannot get engaged enough to feel any of the fiery hot passion a "sexy concept" implies no matter how hot they look! Of course, this isn't necessarily the members' fault; sometimes the concept given is just boring. Like there's a certain point where I'm like "a smile would be nice, god damn." No matter how intense and seductive a gaze is, if all they're doing is wearing a suit with bad CGI in the background, that's not going to do anything to me, come on now. Sorry, I wrote this entire paragraph with SF9 in my mind. 

(((All those inches of material and for what? For FNC to catapult them down the straight-face-whore-choreo rabbit hole when they had a whole revolutionary ass O Sole Mio and a flaring ball of potential that is Yoo Taeyang? I think FNC have been running out of ideas starting 2018. Like three of N.Flying's recent photobook concepts have been the same damn thing.)))

 Thing is! I'm not talking about each member's individual allure, no, I'm talking about the overall captivating atmosphere that every "sexy concept" is striving for. And this enchantment is something few groups I've seen are able to achieve, and even fewer to do so constantly. Which finally brings me to the actual purpose of this essay.
 

AOA--Ace of Angels, catgirl pioneers, once upon a time Choa Haver, coincidentally also under FNC--are one of the few sexy concept groups that I feel are actually sexy.

By that, I mean like they seriously make their designated "sexy concept" work (and trust me, I've seen my fair share of groups who don't like my poor, dearest SF9... not necessarily meaning those idols unsexy, just that there's zero pizzazz! All glazed up but never brought to the kiln.) I suppose I can say AOA are "doing it right," even if they're probably not consciously doing anything out of the ordinary, or are even aware of it. Maybe it's just because the members actually all have sex appeal to me. Either way, I will argue my point with as much vigor as I require.

See, I first made this observation when I wanted to play some AOA music videos in the background while I, I don't know, grinded on Genshin Impact or something, but accidentally paid more attention to the M/Vs than I intended and ended up fully horny after Miniskirt.

[ Small break to give everyone the chance to point and laugh at one bitchless whore. ]

BREAK IS OVER. As I was saying, I think AOA are phenomenal. It's not just that the members are sexy--I actually don't think Mina fits this genre much; she has more of a cute visual. And even Seolhyun I would describe as adorning more of an elegant type of look rather than "sexy," per se, yet she makes it work oh-so-well here because HER LEGS--but all the choreographies and music videos are so tasteful put together it's genuinely brilliant... sexy life guard concept... sexy magician concept... sexy sheriff concept... it never ends. Forthrightly, they sound pretty basic, but it's the way the group interprets them and use those concepts, the way they merge it with the song. It's exquisite and intricately creative; I never would've imagined it possible for certain song-and-concept combinations to blend into one so well. There's always flavor and their styling consistently spot on. Except maybe Jimin's bob back in the day, but that's just my opinion! LMFAO

Before I proceed any further, I do feel obligated to disclaim somewhere: this is supposed to be an appreciation for AOA's artistry--alone. Not touching on any of the other stuff, and not taking any of it into account for this thought train.

Now, regarding Jimin's bob, let me elaborate a bit more: I liked what she had in Excuse Me (the longer bob), but not whatever that shit was in Confused.

And Chanmi? I have to have a small foreword about Chanmi for a moment. Chanmi is so hot to me. I love her looks so much... I'm not sure what exactly to call it because "pretty" isn't the way to describe it. I'm sure there's a word in the English language somewhere, but I'm just going to pull the 'English isn't my first language' card here (not that I would know how to explain her features in my native tongue either, however that's besides the point.) While most adjectives don't really fit, I can confidently say she's hot. Chanmi has such a unique face and, well, vibe. It's in a way I wouldn't think 'sexy' but definitely and undoubtedly would think 'hot.' She's in that obscure area of hot but not necessarily sexy. Reverse-Schrödinger: an invert-quantum state of being NOT both hot and sexy at the same time.

Right. I want to do AOA Sexiness Rankings now. Can I do AOA Sexiness Rankings now.
 

*This is not a visual ranking. This is just each of their sex appeal to me personally because I'm gay and miserably lack bitches.

1. Seolhyun. Like I said, at first look 'sexy' wouldn't be the term to come to mind (it would probably be 'gorgeous'), but the M/Vs... whew, she knows how to make "sexy concept" work just for her. (Her legs. HER LEGS!! Her Legs... god, her legs. And her hair. I need to figure out what shampoo she uses ASAP.)

 

2. Hyejeong. She's just tall and built and amazing and a dork and I saw her with a gun (TWO guns, even... in both hands). And I need her. Thank you Come See Me M/V!

 

3. Chanmi. Hot is different than sexy, but she's still top 3.

 

4. Choa. SURPRISE! SHE'S SO LOW? She may be a milf but to me... she is more of a milfw (mom I'd like to be friends with) as well. Now I'm slightly fearing for my life because this may be my most controversial opinion on here. Okay, she's hot but she's not my type! She's giving mom-friend more than anything, from my current perspective, at least. Sorry, I'm Weird. I don't Fit In. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat?
 

5. Yuna. Being honest with you, she's only here because I don't have any strong impressions of her yet, and therefore do not have a solid opinion, as of now. (Hopefully I will soon! This entire list is bound to change in due time, anyway.) Yuna looks sexy on her Wikipedia picture, though. From that alone, she could overtake Choa. But all her other pictures cancel it out; I honestly see her as more soft-looking, similar to Mina, but arguably, she has more sexy moments than Mina. (Come See Me, for instance.)
 

6. Jimin. Low because her Confused haircut is an immediate turn off. Extra points off for being short. Sorry Jimin...

7. Mina. She's too cute-looking to be sexy... but in terms of cuteness, she's really, really cute.
 

Not including Youkyung because she's my friend, and she's not in any of their promotions beyond the first year of debut anyway?

Best to state, once again, that the entirety of this list is prone to change at anytime, to any degree. I only got into AOA *counts on fingers* twelve days ago. This is all a very surface-level evaluation! I will candidly admit I do not know these girls that well, yet. I also need to deep dive into their performance stages; I definitely have not watched enough.
 

God, I still think Good Luck's 'inherently sexy lifeguard' concept was so genius, though. And insanely well-executed.

Anyway, this concludes my two-hour AOA brain juice overflow.

Final words? Get Out is still their best title track.